ALLSTATE ARENA, CHICAGO, ILLINOIS
APRIL 29, 2012
Welcome to the first pay-per-view since Wrestlemania, where John Cena, fresh from losing to The Rock and Lord Tensai in recent weeks, now has the returning Brock Lesnar to contend with. Chris Jericho gets another shot at CM Punk’s WWE championship after chiding him for weeks about his supposed alcoholism, and Daniel Bryan looks to overcome his embarrassing 18-second defeat with a best of three falls match for Sheamus’ World Heavyweight Championship. Commentary tonight comes from Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler and Booker T.
FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH: KANE VS. RANDY ORTON
First up tonight is Kane and Randy Orton, with the Big Red Machine looking to repeat his victory over the Viper from Wrestlemania. Not to mention the family antics with ‘Cowboy’ Bob Orton and Paul Bearer getting the brunt of each man’s emotions. The wife chooses this moment to tell us that Kane’s attire since his return to WWE reminds her of Fred Flintstone, for some reason. I don’t quite remember Fred having a mask on, but there you go. I wonder how long Orton will take to get down to the ring this evening – he really has acquired The Undertaker’s mantle of taking about half an hour to get to ringside. As this is a falls count anywhere match, I wonder where they’ll end up? The chances of either man putting his opponent in a truck and driving them to Texas seems unlikely. Orton takes it to Kane early on, before he gets caught on the top rope and is uppercutted off to the outside of the ring. Kane goes for the first fall on the outside, getting himself a two count. Kane is reaching under the ring and finds a trusty lead pipe, but Orton recovers and comes out fighting. Orton grabs the pipe and uses it to good effect on Kane, staggering the big man, before knocking him over the rope to the outside. Kane comes back with some more hellacious uppercuts, as the fight gets taken to the crowd. Both men exchange blows as they move further and further into the audience, with heads getting bounced off guardrails and desks. Orton gets more momentum here, ramming Kane into some empty seats before unloading with some head shots. Not a lot of technical wrestling on offer here so far, with Orton driving a knee into Kane’s head and getting a two count. There’s quite an irritating little girl who keeps screaming in the crowd nearby – someone wants to get her under control…Orton is slammed onto the concrete and is covered for another close fall, before a ground drop-kick from Kane draws a “oh goodness!” from Booker. The fight is starting to move back to the ring area now, Kane in control for the moment. Orton looks to try and escape through the crowd into the foyer area, but Kane catches him and lays some blows on him on the stairwell between the crowd seating. We’re up by the top of the entrance way now, with yet more blows being exchanged. Orton hits a big drop-kick on the concrete, which lays Kane out – another two count. Orton goes for the RKO, which is reversed by Kane, who goes for another pin attempt. The pair fight their way back stage through the large Extreme Rules signage, and we join them in the technical area backstage. Kane drags Orton headfirst along a corridor, slamming him into a storage crate. Orton then has his head smashed into a dressing room door, before Kane is thrown through into a room where a number of people are watching the event. For some reasons, Zack Ryder intervenes, raining blows down on Kane’s back, which have no effect. This proves enough of a distraction for Orton to nail Kane and grab another two count. Orton is sent crashing into some microphone stands, before meeting another door head on. Back in the corridor, Kane stalks the weary Orton, throwing a chair at his back before going for the cover again. The action moves back to the entrance way, with Orton trying to battle his way back into the match, hitting blows all the way back to the ring and ramming Kane head first into the ring steps. Back in the ring, Kane is in trouble as he faces an onslaught from Orton. From here-on in, Kane and Orton trade more action, with Kane hitting a chokeslam on Orton, but failing to land the elusive pin fall. Orton retrieves a chair from underneath the ring, which he delivers some punishing blows to the Big Red Machine. Kane, exasperated by his inability to put Orton away, grabs the chair in frustration and goes to grab Orton. He attempts a Tombstone Piledriver, which Orton wriggles out of, whips Kane off the ropes and hits a definitive RKO on the steel chair to get the win!
WINNER BY PINFALL: RANDY ORTON
Backstage, Eve and John Laryngitis are standing near the wheel that will be used to decide the Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes match. Teddy Long enters with a tray of champagne, which he is forced to serve up to Johnny and his bitch.
BRODUS CLAY (W/ HORNSWOGGLE AND HIS DANCERS) VS. DOLPH ZIGGLER (W/ VICKIE GUERRERO AND JACK SWAGGER)
Brodus, as if his whole dancing schtick isn’t bad enough, now has Hornswoggle in tow along with his female dancers. At least the black tracksuits are toned down somewhat. Vickie Guerrero introduces Dolph for the match, who is also accompanied by stable-mate Jack Swagger in a rather dapper suit. Apologies for the stunted nature of the description of the Kane vs. Orton match, my laptop battery died and I lost about half the match report – if I could buy you some chocolates to say sorry, I would. Back to the current match, we’ll see if Ziggler has what it takes to finally end Clay’s unbeaten run since he came back as The Funkasaurus. He’s already lasted longer than most of Clay’s opponents, and at least has the bonus of Swagger and Guerrero to aid him with distractions. This is indeed what happens, as Swagger pulls down the ropes and sends Clay crashing to the outside, and then shoulder charges the big man on the outside, which Clay can only get back inside the ring after a seven count off the referee. Clay fights back into the match, but misses a big knee lift and Ziggler hits a great leg-chop and leg-drop to the back of Clay’s head to get a close fall. He locks Clay in a front head-lock, but Clay is back on his feet and Ziggler is forced to go back down below to fend him off. Another submission move is slapped on Clay, I think it’s a sleeper hold, as Vickie tries to get the crowd behind her man. I have to say, I do like Ziggler’s ‘It’s not showing off if you back it up’ T-shirts, which are on sale now…Clay gets out of the sleeper, but Ziggler is right back on him, but then ill-advisedly tries to go for a suplex on a man who weighs about twice as much as him. Ziggler is picked up and planted on the mat, and Clay knocks Swagger off the ring apron. Ziggler is floored with a headbutt to the stomach as Ziggler dives towards Clay, and after a MASSIVE splash off the ropes, Ziggler falls prey to The Funkasaurus! Good effort Dolph, but it was never really going to happen…
WINNER BY PINFALL: BRODUS CLAY
Cue the questionable disco dancing, Clay has won! He does have a good arse-shaking action, however, I must say. We get footage of the WWE Pre-Show, where the stipulation was chosen for the Rhodes vs. Show match…Teddy gets to spin the wheel, and it settles on…A TABLES MATCH! Rhodes blames Teddy for choosing the tables match stipulation, which he finds a bit hard to believe.
WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP TABLES MATCH: BIG SHOW (CHAMPION) VS. CODY RHODES
Aww, it’s the wife’s favourite wrestler, Big Show! She says she’d like to play with his beard (if she could reach it!). So, will the tables stipulation play a part in Show retaining his title? Let’s see! Show is only one of five men to hold all the current title belts on offer in the WWE, so Cole tells us, but he fails to mention who else has done this. I imagine Triple H is one…possibly Shawn Michaels. Can’t think who else – The Rock, perhaps? Big Show goes right for Cody with massive power moves, perhaps trying to get this over with as soon as possible. Some big chops in the corner butters Rhodes up for an ENORMOUS back drop, and he crawls to the outside. Big Show slaps Rhodes in the chest again, then sets up a table on the outside near the announcer’s desk. It ain’t looking good for the challenger at the moment…saying that, Rhodes brings Show to his knees, before the big man recovers and goes to work on Rhodes’ chest again before tossing him over the guardrail and back to the ringside area. Show brings a table into the ring, and goes to set this one up too. He rests it in the corner, and grabs Rhodes by the head, looking to send him crashing through it, but Rhodes springs off the table and delivers a Disaster Kick to Big Show’s head. Rhodes charges Show again, looking to put him through the wood, but Show beats Rhodes down and sends him to the outside. He whips Rhodes into the guardrail again with some force, before slapping his chest yet again (that’ll be sore in the morning). Rhodes grabs a table of his own, but Show stops him. Rhodes is grounded again, and Show looks in control again. Yet another table enters the ring, but Rhodes dropkicks Big Show off the apron. Show steps down off the apron and manages to step through the table that was arranged there! Instantly, he looks to the referee, shocked that he made such an error, and indeed, when the referee sees the broken table, calls for the bell! New champion! As soon as the result is called, Show charges Cody Rhodes, before choke-slamming him through another table in frustration.
WINNER: CODY RHODES (NEW CHAMPION)
Show stares at the table that ended his title reign, before retrieving Rhodes off the floor and body-slamming the new champion out of the ring and through another table! Well, if he wanted to make a point, he certainly did, but a bit of sour grapes there from the big man – he made the mistake, live with it! Cody is helped to his feet, his new Intercontinental title some scant consolation for being chucked through two tables there…
Ooh, trailer time! Is it for the Edge DVD? YES! If you haven’t got it yet, why not pick it up for a friend or loved one? Didn’t he have a DVD out before called ‘A Decade of Decadence?’ Backstage, Matt Striker is interviewing Daniel ‘YES! YES! YES! YES!’ Bryan, who gives the reasons why he’s better than Sheamus – including the amazing reason that ‘my beard is manlier than Sheamus’. It’s great that he’s a heel, but gets more of the crowd chanting for him than a lot of superstars. We get a recap of the Wrestlemania win for Sheamus, and Bryan’s anger at this, including his unleashing of hatred at AJ, who, let’s be fair, pretty much deserved it. He’d be much better off with a Bella twin, I reckon. There’s also footage of Sheamus losing it in his match against Alberto Del Rio on Smackdown, and losing to Mark Henry where Bryan was the guest official.
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP BEST OF THREE FALLS MATCH: DANIEL BRYAN VS. SHEAMUS
A defiant Bryan hops to the ring chanting ‘YES!’ but he cuts a lonely looking figure without AJ or indeed, the title belt. Sheamus comes down to the ring wearing a superb ’18 SECONDS’ T-shirt, which the wife thinks is how long the Great White lasts in bed. Fair play, but rather her than me telling him that. She did find it ironic that Bryan’s T-shirt says ‘YES, YES, YES!’ – quite a sexual theme on the T-shirts for this title match. Will we see a quick fall during this best of three match? Bryan will be hoping not…OK here we go.
Both men lock up, with Sheamus knocking Bryan to the floor. At least the first fall has lasted longer than the Wrestlemania bout! Bryan avoids a Brogue Kick, and the referee backs Sheamus away. Sheamus taunts Bryan by saying how close he was to getting kicked then…Sheamus is caught in an arm submission, but Sheamus keeps his feet and reverses the move, driving his knee into the shoulder. Sheamus again uses his power to get out of a move from Bryan, and lands another shoulder block off the ropes. He hits a nice rolling senton, and picks up a two count. Bryan flips off the ropes but cannot get the pin locked in. Sheamus grabs Bryan’s legs and puts him into a Boston Crab submission, which is broken when Bryan gets to the ropes. Sheamus goes for the move again, but Bryan rolls him up for another two count. Sheamus lands some heavy blows on Bryan in the corner of the ring before hauling him to the opposite turnbuckle. Bryan somersaults off the ropes and manages to rest up, and then makes a mistake by trying to land a cross-body block on Sheamus on the outside of the ring. Sheamus catches him and lands a spinebuster on the guardrail. Back in the ring, Bryan is on his feet first before Sheamus, and lands some stomps to the champion. Nice ’18 seconds’ chant from the crowd as Bryan picks up speed on Sheamus, and gets a two count from a pin attempt. Bryan is working the arms now, in readiness for the Yes Lock (is Bryan still calling it that?) before trying to force Sheamus’ fingers apart. He manages to contort him into a pinning attempt, but it’s all about wearing the more powerful man down here. Sheamus fights out with some huge elbows, but Bryan lands a ground drop-kick which gives him a one-count. Bryan lands some impressive uppercuts, which leaves Sheamus on the ropes. Bryan chokes him out, going dangerously close to a disqualification. Bryan is again in control here, again locking in an arm-based submission. Sheamus gets to his feet, and fights back with a clothesline and a knee lift, before he gets trapped on the ropes and has his chest beaten by Sheamus, before taking a fall-away slam which gives a two count for the champion. Bryan hits a drop toe-hold to send Sheamus into the turnbuckle, which Bryan tries to pin him after, but fails. Bryan lifts Sheamus onto the ropes, but Sheamus kicks him off and lands a big shoulder block off the top rope for a two count. Sheamus delivers some big blows on the ring apron, and tries top suplex him back into the ring, but Bryan lands on his feet and send Sheamus careering out of the ring instead. He tries to bounce off the ropes and dive onto Sheamus on the outside, but Sheamus smashes him with a forearm. A close fall from Bryan sees him try to get Sheamus in the Yes Lock twice, but Sheamus does all he can to avoid it. Bryan moves out the way of a charging Sheamus, who smashes into the ring post, before Bryan slams him shoulder first into the post twice more. Bryan is now concentrating fully on the left shoulder, which is a smart move I guess. He delivers some hard kicks, along with a self-instigated chant of ‘YES, YES, YES!’ before the referee drags Bryan off and disqualifies him for not breaking the five count!
WINNER BY DISQUALIFICATION: SHEAMUS (1-0)
Bryan has backed off, and watches Sheamus get to his feet, before he lands a massive drop-kick on him and slaps on the Yes Lock on the prone champion, as he desperately scrabbles for the ropes. Sheamus looks out of it, and beyond being able to tap out, but then he gets a second wind, which is short lived. The referee calls for the bell, as Sheamus is not able to continue.
WINNER BY SUBMISSION: DANIEL BRYAN (1-1)
A ringside medic enters the ring to evaluate Sheamus, as Bryan leads the crowd in a chant, which the crowd alternate between ‘YES’ and ‘NO!’ in quick succession. Sheamus is being seen to his feet now by two doctors and the referee, who will doubtless be asking if he wants to carry on. Sheamus says he’s OK to carry on, but how well he’ll do is debatable. It’s this fall to decide the title, and finally the doctors leave the ring. Bryan charges Sheamus, who lands a massive Brogue Kick and Bryan is SPARK OUT!! Sheamus crawls over and covers him, but Bryan kicks out! Both men are in a bad way now, on the mat and looking exhausted. I’m not sure what happens here if the referee counts both men out – I suppose Sheamus retains if it’s a draw. Bryan and Sheamus trade kicks and punches, and Bryan gets the better blow, before Sheamus kicks out again. Bryan goes up top, but Sheamus intercepts him and slows his attack. His arm is hurting him however, and he can’t get a decent assault going. Sheamus tries for a superplex, but Bryan blocks, and lands some headbutts, which sends Sheamus crashing to the mat. Bryan goes for a top rope headbutt, but misses as Sheamus rolls out the way. Definitely NOT shades of Chris Benoit’s flying heabutt there…bit of an epic fail. Bryan misses a drop-kick to the corner, and Sheamus lands some double axe-handle blows on Bryan, before hitting the Irish Curse backbreaker. Another huge Brogue Kick grounds Bryan, and he picks up the deciding bout by pinfall!
WINNER BY PINFALL: SHEAMUS (2-1, TITLE RETAINED)
A great match there, that honestly could have gone either way. Good job from the Irishman there, it has to be said. He does get rather sweaty though, does Sheamus. At least he can go and have a nice hot bath now, eh? Trailer time again, for WWE teaming up with YouTube for some internet-only shows. There’s also an Over The Limit trailer featuring Randy Orton, who apparently is ‘engineered to eviscerate’. Nice. Santino, fresh from his pre-match US championship title defence against The Miz, is backstage watching some poor saps who are about to lose in spectacular fashion to Skip Sheff…sorry, Ryback. They give a motivational talk about two being better than one, which starts to annoy Michael Cole.
RYBACK VS. AARON RELIC & JAY HATTON
Yay, here comes Skip…sorry, Ryback. Honestly, what’s with the name changes? First Albert – ahem, I mean Lord Tensai – now Skip changing name to Ryback? He sounds like a brand of condom!! “Ryback and enjoy it…use Ryback condoms…” – please. Ryback annihilates this two-some in about two minutes. It’s fun seeing a good old squash match, but this is getting a bit ridiculous. Why not face the two kings of the squash match against each other soon – Ryback vs. Brodus Clay? Nice one, Ryback – best head off and munch a few more steroids. The Great Khali has joined Santino backstage now, and he mutters something, but it sounds like he’s got a mouthful of toast, for goodness sake.
WINNER BY PINFALL: RYBACK (AND THINK OF ENGLAND)
CM Punk is backstage with Matt Striker, who quizzes the champion about Jericho’s constant goading about Punk’s ‘boozing’. Now there’s an interesting match – a drunk match! Not that Punk would go for that, but perhaps Punk could put Stone Cold in for him, and he and Jericho could get loaded at a bar, then try to duke it out before having a wrestling match. A contestant is disqualified if he vomits, obviously. Ah well, one can dream. Punk says that as this is a street fight, Jericho doesn’t have much chance. There’s a build-up to the match, featuring a Public Service Announcement from Jerichoholics Anonymous, which I thought was amusing. We also get a re-run of Punk’s field sobriety test, before he kicked Jericho’s ass.
WWE CHAMPIONSHIP CHICAGO STREETFIGHT MATCH: CHRIS JERICHO VS. CM PUNK (CHAMPION)
Nice new jacket from Jericho as he makes his entrance, I think I want one. This being a street-fight, naturally people can wear whatever the hell they want (I always remember from old school WWE that people wore jeans and stuff for this sort of match – not including Vince McMahon’s streetfight attire when he faced Shane McMahon at Wrestlemania, and wore an outfit that was apparently stolen from his local bin-man) and Jericho and Punk both have jeans on for tonight’s confrontation. It’s in this arena that Punk won the WWE title last year when he was on the last night of his contract and was due to leave the company with the belt. Jericho looks appalled at the volume of the ‘CM PUNK!’ chants going on as the introductions are made. Both men size each other up initially, before they let rip, Punk battering Jericho with elbows to the head and stomps to the chest. Punk goes outside and grabs a kendo stick, which he metes out some punishment with. Punk swings wildly with the stick, but Jericho avoids it and exits the ring. Punk chases him down and once more floors the challenger in the ring. Two chairs have entered the ring now, and Punk wedges one in the corner of the ring. Jericho gains the upper hand however, landing a drop-kick and buying some time. He then bashes Punk about with the kendo stick, before hitting another drop-kick after springing off the turnbuckles and goading the crowd. Punk has his head rammed off the ring apron, before being thrown into and over the guardrail into the timekeeper’s area. Jericho goes after him again, battering Punk with forearms and punches, before Jericho is flung into the announcer’s desk. Back in the ring now, Jericho is going to work on Punk with a turnbuckle pad, but Punk is battling back with some knife-edge chops. Punk misses his trademark knee lift to the corner, and is sent flying over the turnbuckle to the outside of the ring. Jericho tears up the guardrail, removing some of the padding, and slamming Punk into it, right in front of Punk’s sister. Jericho gets in her face, and receives a slap for his troubles. Jericho rushes her, which spurs Punk on and he explodes on Jericho and then slams Jericho through the board that covers the announcer’s desk. It’s twice in one night now that the announcer’s desks have been set up for a bad move, only to seemingly escape punishment. Punk tries to hit a piledriver on Jericho, who reverses and backdrops Punk to the mat. Jericho slams a monitor into Punk’s back, and then smashes more board off the announcer’s desk across his spine as well. Punk is rolled back into the ring, and gets a two count. Jericho slaps a chin lock in on the champion, but Punk resists submitting. Punk reverses with a side-suplex, and tries to regroup, but Jericho is up before him. Punk hangs Jericho’s neck on the top rope, before he tries to land a cross-body block on him, but slips, allowing Jericho to batter him with the kendo stick and drive it pointed end, into his back. Jericho is really playing up his heel role tonight, but as he goads Punk again, he gets caught in a roll-up pin for another two count. Jericho goes back to the outside, and searches under the ring, coming back with a can of beer. Not sure what brand it is, it’s not a Carling, by any means. Jericho covers Punk in it, before kicking Punk and landing some more punches to the head. Jericho grabs another beer and has a drink himself, before Punk once more explodes into life and beats Jericho senseless with the stick and landing a great series of offense to get back into the match. Punk this time manages to land his corner turnbuckle knee drop, and then hits a low blow with the help of the kendo stick. He sets Jericho up for the GTS, but Jericho reverses into the Walls of Jericho, which Punk kicks out of. It’s all happening now, but once more Punk is going to the top rope. Jericho grabs the rope and stops Punk’s attack, leaving him wobbling on the turnbuckle. Jericho beats down on the champ, before going for a superplex, but he can’t pull Punk off the turnbuckle. Punk lands some elbows to the neck, before Jericho is felled by a double chop. Punk this time is able to hit his trademark elbow drop, and instantly goes for a pin, which Jericho kicks out of. As dramatic as the match has been, it’s not really been ‘street’ enough – you’d at least want them to actually battle on the street outside the arena. Jericho fights out of another GTS attempt, and both men look rather spent now. Jericho tries for a lionsault, but Punk catches him and moves him into position for the GTS, but once more Jericho counters and slings Punk into the chair that was set up in the corner. A close two count follows, and both men need to get a second (or is third?) wind back. Punk is up first, but stumbles directly into a Codebreaker. Jericho, with an evil glint in his eye, goes for the Walls of Jericho, and gets it cinched in. He applies it fully, but Punk crawls to the ropes inch by inch and finally gets there, but the hold does not have to be broken. Punk crawls right to the edge of the ring and pulls a fire extinguisher out from under the ring! He sprays it in Jericho’s face, and he lets go of the hold. As Jericho wipes his eyes on the referee’s jersey, Punk bashes Jericho in the stomach, and chases him outside the ring. Once more he blasts him in the gut and then in the back of the head. Jericho collapses on the Spanish announcer’s desk, and Punk climbs the turnbuckle, where he nearly loses his balance. He recovers and hits and insane elbow drop off the ropes and destroys Jericho! Punk still has get Jericho back in the ring now to pin him – which he tries to do admirably. This is debatable, as in all reality you ought to be able to pin someone anywhere…Jericho kicks out of the pin attempt, and Punk locks in the Anaconda Vice! Jericho manages to grab the kendo stick and crack Punk over the head with it to break the submission. Punk again wanders into a Codebreaker, this time while holding a chair, but Punk still kicks out! Jericho is distraught now, and argues with the referee that the last pin was a slow count. Jericho tells Punk to stay down, and then seemingly tries to pull Punk’s hair out. He hoists him up, and Jericho looks set to hit Punk’s own GTS on him! However, Punk counters and slingshots Jericho into the turnbuckle, before hitting a GTS of his own to get the pinfall and retain his title!
WINNER BY PINFALL: CM PUNK (TITLE RETAINED)
A great streetfight match there, arguably won by the better man – but could you really have seen Punk losing in his home city? It would have been a bit of an injustice, to be fair…Punk celebrates his retention in the crowd with his family and friends, while Jericho probably goes off to have a drink and take the taste of fire extinguisher spray away. I recommend some Monster energy drink, which has kept me going throughout this event so far! Backstage, we’re with the Bella twins (pwoar) along with Beth Phoenix, who moans about not being medically cleared to compete this evening. Just as said Bellas are about to bugger off back to their hotel, Eve stops them and tells them she has promised the crowd a Diva’s championship match tonight (really, don’t feel you HAVE to and everything…) so it looks like it’s going ahead.
WWE DIVA’S CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: NIKKI BELLA (CHAMPION) (W/ BRIE BELLA) VS. LAYLA
Well, Layla is announced as the ‘mystery’ opponent for this match – for those interested in this division of WWE, I think she’s been out of action for quite a while, wasn’t it right back when she had some trouble with Michelle McCool that led to her leaving? I can’t quite recall. There’s not a lot you need to know about in this match, except the cheating bastard Bellas team up on poor ol’ Layla to ensure Nikki retains her belt and generally gets to gloat a bit more about how amazing she is (!) She’s still hot, though. I’m going to get a drink. I stand corrected, Layla somehow manages to win (despite doing absolutely nothing to deserve a Diva’s title shot) and there you go, we have a new champion! I sort of wish I hadn’t gone to get another drink now, but there you go, them’s the breaks.
WINNER BY PINFALL: LAYLA (NEW CHAMPION)
Well done Layla love, enjoy your belt. Well Nikki didn’t last long as champion, did she? Backstage, Matt Striker chases Johnny Laryngitis and asks what he and Triple H were discussing earlier in the evening. Johnny tells Matt it’s none of his concern and everything will be revealed on Raw tomorrow night. All together now – PEOPLE POWER!!! (Sort of like ‘Puppy Power’ but better).
Highlights time for the main event for the evening – LESNAR VS. CENA! You can’t help feeling that Lesnar is gearing himself up for a fall however, I just can’t shake the fact that Cena now lost to The Rock, Albert (sorry, Tensai) – if he’s going to save any face whatsoever, you think he has to win tonight.
EXTREME RULES MATCH: BROCK LESNAR VS. JOHN CENA
Bloody hell, Brock’s a big lad, isn’t he? He might be ever so slightly smaller than the last time he was in WWE, but you’d not want to get on the wrong side of him…Nice UFC-themed attire as well – nice to see a bit of sponsorship on him. Brock seems very amused by Cena’s entrance, and does look ready to bash several shades of shit out of him. Cena is instantly taken down by Lesnar, who tackles him and goes to work by pounding away at his face, before he is levelled by a clothesline, and Cena is bleeding already! Cena’s head is split open here, and the referee has now managed to get Lesnar to hold off while the doctors see to Cena and mop up some of the blood which is pouring off him. Lesnar is relentless here, and to be honest this is quite scary. Talk about domination – while a lot people wanted this, I think it’s shocked many in the crowd. Cena just doesn’t really seem with it, and looks very, very distant. Lesnar is again holding off while the medical team look over Cena to make sure he’s fit to compete. Cena regains his composure and goes for an Attitude Adjustment, but Lesnar is quickly back in control and delivers some big German Suplexes. Cnea attacks Lesnar, who falls back on the referee, who collapses out of the ring. Cena is down again, with Lesnar aiming some big head shots at his nemesis. Lesnar is now covered in Cena’s blood, and looks to be enjoying every minute of it. He locks in a savage looking armbar on the outside of the ring, before flinging him to the guardrail. With Cena down on his arse again, Lesnar grabs Cena’s chain he wears around his neck, and wraps it round his fist. He dumps it however, realising he perhaps doesn’t really need a weapon. I think the damage was done in the opening minute of this contest in all honesty, and instead, Lesnar secures Cena’s ankles with his own chain. Lesnar invites Cena to stand, which he does with some difficulty – he’s promptly decked with a nasty looking clothesline. Lesnar lifts Cena onto the top rope, before he is hung upside down by his legs, allowing Lesnar free reign over him, battering him senseless and ramming his elbow off the ring apron. It’s very methodical now from Lesnar, who has a look at the referee, who is still out of it on the outside – mercifully, he leaves him alone. Cena fights back, perhaps what Lesnar wants, before he sends Cena careering into the ring steps with brutal force. Lesnar brings the referee back to the ring with one hand (!!!) and gets him to his feet, well – sort of. It’s looking a bit like Lesnar might win this one after all, judging by the punishment he’s dealt out so far. Lesnar walks into an Attitude Adjustment attempt, but this is reversed into an F-5 from Lesnar, which hits the referee again! Lesnar goes for a cover, and a second official comes down to the ring to make the count. Cena kicks out, but it’s debatable if he would have had the original referee been there to count it. Lesnar floors the second referee for not allowing him to win, and goes and retrieves the steel ring steps from the outside. He stands on top of them, goading Cena, who once more fights back, only to have a true UFC/MMA submission locked in on top of the ring steps. Cena looks ready to fade here, but there’s no official to acknowledge it. Cena fights out, lifts Lesnar up in a show of brute strength and slams Lesnar down on the steps. Cena goes up to the top rope and goes for a leg-drop, but Lesnar misses it and Cena rolls out the ring. Lesnar looks around for his enemy, having lost sight of him momentarily. Cena crawls up to the ring apron, and Lesnar bounces off the ropes and flings his whole body weight at Cena, crashing into him but also over the ropes and to the floor, where he hurts his leg, but seems to thrive on this and gets straight to his feet. Lesnar goes to repeat the trick, but this time Cena has his chain in his hand – AND PUMMELS LESNAR IN THE FACE! Lesnar is down, and bleeding quite badly! Cena lines Lesnar up, hauls him up into the Attitude Adjustment and sends Lesnar crashing down on top of the steps! He manages to cover him, and gets the 1-2-3 for a massive win against all odds! Lesnar doesn’t really seem to know where he is, and looks just as surprised he’s lost as Cena is to find that he’s won.
WINNER BY PINFALL (SOMEHOW): JOHN CENA
Well, a bloody and violent end to a pay-per-view that I’m sure Cena will want to have a rest, one would think! He still has time to give us some words however, where he tells us that he’s probably going to get told for speaking out of turn. He says us that Chicago is a wrestling town, and we were supposed to see the extreme, and how proud Cena is that he had this match here. Basically, he’s taking some time off, and this was a great evening to leave the company for a while. So, we’re not sure when we’ll see Cena again – but what will become of Lesnar? Who will be his next opponent? We’ll see you next time at Over The Limit…
Category: TV and PPV |