September 21, 2009, WWE Raw Results
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. – Let him entertain you. And that’s just what Hollywood heavyweight Cedric the Entertainer did when he rolled up as Raw’s special guest host. The actor, director and round mound of get-down rocked the WWE Universe by arranging a few amazing matches, including one featuring Cedric himself!
Randy Orton & Unified Tag Team Champions Chris Jericho & Big Show def. WWE Champion John Cena, MVP & Mark Henry:
The stakes were plenty high before any of the six Superstars set foot in the ring. Randy Orton & Unified Tag Team Champions Chris Jericho & Big Show were prepared to clash with WWE Champion John Cena, MVP & Mark Henry. As he made his way to the ring, however, Jericho upped the ante. The arrogant Superstar informed Orton that the loser of the match – either Orton or Cena – would be forced to compete in a 3-on-1 Gauntlet Match next week; Orton would face Cena, MVP & Henry, while Cena must compete against Orton, Jericho & Show.
As the match got underway, each team seemed bent on proving dominance, especially the two men with the most at stake. As a result, Orton was not about to relinquish any advantage he may acquire so close to WWE Hell in a Cell. With that, The Viper struck, administering an RKO to Henry to claim victory for his team and ensuring that next Monday night, Cena will be staring into the blinding headlights of three runaway tractor trailers each barreling furiously in his direction.
Raw bids farewell to ring announcer and WWE Diva Lilian Garcia:
After 10 years with WWE, the beautiful Lilian Garcia thanked the WWE Universe and informed everyone that Monday was her final night greeting fans, belting out the national anthem and announcing the start of matches. WWE.com wishes Lilian all the best.
Rev. Al Sharpton to guest host next Monday night’s Raw
Hallelujah! The controversial and always entertaining Rev. Al Sharpton is scheduled to act as guest host next week when Monday Night Raw touches down in Albany, N.Y.
Cedric the Entertainer def. Chavo Guerrero:
The humiliation continues. This time, rather than Hornswoggle, it was Cedric the Entertainer who was responsible for disgracing the proud “Mexican Warrior,” Chavo Guerrero. Cedric approached the ring in a luchador outfit complete with mask. During the match, Cedric climbed out of the ring and fled underneath the squared circle. When he reappeared, “Cedric” seemed significantly larger than before. Special guest referee Santino Marella appeared clueless to the size shift while the sizeable Cedric then hammered Chavo before hopping back under the ring only to emerge as a significantly smaller masked Cedric – you might even say he was the size of Hornswoggle. “Ced-swoggle” then hit Chavo with a Tadpole Splash before crawling back under the ring. Then the “real” Cedric popped up and quickly covered the hapless Chavo for the win.
United States Champion Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger (ended in a No Contest):
United States Champion Kofi Kingston may need a Lo-Jack for his title. While the Jamaican Superstar battled Jack Swagger, that awesome annoyance, The Miz, once again attempted to pinch the gold. Unlike last week, however, “The All-American American” put the kibosh on Miz’s plans and ran off with the title himself. While this match ended with no victor, the three will meet again in a Triple Threat Match at WWE Hell in a Cell.
Beth Phoenix def. Divas Champion Mickie James:
Mickie James can’t seem to wipe off the bull’s-eye on her back. The Divas Champion faced off against Beth Phoenix as the No. 1 contender to her title, Alicia Fox, looked on from ringside. Fox wouldn’t stay put for long. The leggy lovely managed to distract the Divas Champion long enough for The Glamazon to take advantage and notch the victory. With the champion dazed, Fox then pummeled Mickie before exiting the ring bearing a self-satisfied grin.
During a WWE Hell in a Cell contract signing, Randy Orton & Unified Tag Team Champs Chris Jericho & Big Show confronted WWE Champ John Cena, MVP & Mark Henry; the two sides will face off in main event:
Some men resort to sly, underhanded and treacherous tricks to achieve their goals. Other men prepare themselves for just such deceit. Such was the case when Randy Orton and WWE Champion John Cena met in the ring to sign the contracts for their WWE Hell in a Cell Match. After emphasizing the fact that Cena has never competed in a Hell in a Cell bout, Orton ushered out Unified Tag Team Champs Chris Jericho & Big Show, who promptly surrounded The Champ. Cena, however, had backup.
MVP & Mark Henry rolled up to show their allegiance to Cena. As the six glared intently at one another, guest host Cedric the Entertainer informed them that despite a “no physicality” clause in the pair’s contract, the comedian was going to waive the rule and arrange a match between the two groups at the end of the evening.
The Miz def. Evan Bourne:
The Miz was forced to taste a few drops of his own medicine – and the egomaniac didn’t much care for it. After stealing Kofi Kingston’s United States Championship last week, Miz, while being interviewed, found himself on the receiving end of an attack by Kingston, who rightly took back his title. Just minutes after the just desserts were served, however, a still smarting Miz proved his resilience by defeating high-flyer Evan Bourne.
Chavo Guerrero challenged Raw guest host Cedric the Entertainer:
Cedric the Entertainer has long since earned his moniker. The comedian and star of the new DVD, All-Star Comedy Jam, and director of a movie you can help name by clicking here, showed his chops when Santino Marella tried to “audition.” While The Milan Miracle bombed, Chavo Guerrero left Cedric in stitches until the comedian finally realized that Guerrero hadn’t been losing to Hornswoggle on purpose for the last two months. So incensed was the so-called “Mexican Warrior” that he challenged Cedric. With Marella accepting on his behalf, Cedric would face Guerrero one-on-one.
Triple H vs. Cody Rhodes (ended in a No Contest):
Be careful what you wish for. That’s one lesson among many for The Legacy, who received a dream match-up against DX at WWE Breaking Point and pulled off the biggest upset of their young career. Now, however, Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase must face Shawn Michaels & Triple H again at WWE Hell in a Cell inside Satan’s Structure.
For his part, Michaels was the first man to win a Hell in a Cell Match while The Game has won more of the sadistic bouts than any other Superstar. Before the teams square off in two weeks, though, The Legacy made quite a statement. Triple H faced Rhodes on Raw as their respective partners looked on. The match devolved, though, when Rhodes & DiBiase slammed Michaels outside of the ring before attacking Triple H with a chair inside the ring. When the duo left The Game immobile in the center of the ring, they submitted one more piece of evidence that they could indeed be the future of WWE.
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Keelan..I couldn’t agree more. WWE definitely took two steps back with last night’s RAW. Cedric the Entertainer doesn’t have a single ingratiating tie to wrestling and it showed. The entire evening felt awkward and disasterously “un-comedic”. I do appreciate the fact that they are pushing Legacy and the Miz. I watched Mike Mizzanen on The Real World and during the Tough Enough competition years ago and you can tell he has a real passion for the business. However, does WWE just not know what to do with Evan Bourne? He has been jobbin’ a lot lately (or teaming with Hornswaggle…which is the same thing). It would be a shame to underutilize that guy right out of the company.
Ok enough is enough. I orginally thought the quest host thing would be a nice draw. I have seen so much bad TV time and its getting to painfull to see what happens next. Mayweather ? Oneal ? Cedric ? Piven was ok but his little sidekick was a super pain in the neck. It is what it is. There have been many more bad experiences than good. Next week they announced that Al Sharpton will be the host ? This will be one raw I will not watch in any way shape or form. I dont care if they come up with a 10 diva nude battle royal. I am sick to death of the whole Chavo thing and Santino has been over played. The whole issue is there must be more good than bad to make an interesting show. Right now WWE is losing this battle.
US Title is looking to me like a newer version of Hardcore Title. Anyone who comes near it, takes it away…
Are we gearing up for a Falls Count Anywhere match or a Championship Scramble match…
noooooo orton won, that mwans jerishow have to put over/job to cena AGAIN just so he can seem like superman. At least orton is gonna get the rko and pin him i suppose.
I liked the main event cause i was split. On one hand i have jericho, and show. Two guys i love seeing wrestle and normaly rute for. On the other hand i resoned that if they won they would have to job to cena and i didnt want that cause they dont deserve it. So i couldnt control who i was ruting for which i felt was a nice little exprenece.
Seeing as I live in Norway, I’ve not had the “pleasure” of experiencing Cedric The Entertainers brand of comedy. Quick question; is the “Entertainer”-moniker meant to be ironic? I’m asking because as far as the entertainment value is concerned, I rate him somewhere between a burning orphanage and a sack of drowning puppies…which, to wit, sums up the entire show quite nicely. I mean; what’s next? Chavo challenges Sharpton to a match, only to find himself in a 3 on 1 handicap match against the Holy Trinity?
This week edition of RAW suck. I´m tired of Chavo vs Hornswaggle feud. I want to see guest host like (The Rock, Stone Cold, Edge, Hulk Hogan, and many more). I´m sick of seeing people that don´t know anything about wrestling hosting RAW.
Today I once again made sure that Smackdown is FTW…
Ohh and Lilian – Good Luck… You’ll be missed…
I wonder who will be the next announcer… Ohh, please, be a diva, PLEASE!!! And a beautiful one, lol.
What baffles me more, is that you people still actually watch Raw, Anyway…
I know no one’s gonna care about this, but what’s the deal with Chavo? He’s the product of a proud wrestling lineage, and he’s loosing matches to a midget? Maybe he needs the money. I know we’re in a recession, but C’MON!!!
Todd Martin, this was a great article!!!! I could not of said it any better. Your article was pure genius. You definately have a knowledge of what pro wrestling should and shouldn’t be. I will never understand why these idiots in wwe creative still have a job, it’s a miracle they still are employed under Vince “old man losing his mind” Mcmahon. Raw has become a complete joke. I recommend the smackdown brand. Smackdown is a more traditional kind of show. It focuses more on “wrestling” and not “entertainment”. Watching raw from the first minute to the last has become a torture treatment for me. Oh how I miss the 90’s. The only host I have enjoyed was Bob barker, that’s it!!! And what kind of idiot bids thousands of dollars on a dvd. WWE comedy is the worst!!! Oh, and Michael Cole please just die already. I’m sick of hearing your fake laughter, and you’r a little piece of shit. JERRY LAWLER, TURN HEEL ANNOUNCER AGAIN, PLEASE!!!!! SMACK COLE AROUND INSTEAD OF BEING A PUSSY FAKE LAUGHING WITH HIM!!!!
Great column Todd. You’ve made a lot of good points on the WWE product as a whole, and the whole “Guest Host of the Week” concept.
Now, on to my impressions of Monday Night Raw:
This was, bar none, the worst Raw ever. In fact, ever since WWE started this “Guest Host of the Week” concept, Raw has been hit or miss; little hits, and MANY misses. I actually like Cedric the Entertainer, when he’s actually funny, and dislike him when he’s not. This was one of those times that he wasn’t funny, and I hated every second of it.
Cedric was completely out of his element on Raw, much like his theatrical bomb, “The Cleaner”. Every one of his skits fell flat. His jokes fell flat. This concept has fallen flat (They have Al Sharpton on next week hosting Raw, need I say more?) Many times I had to ask myself was I watching the “all mighty” WWE or WCW at the cusp of bankruptcy? If WCW was still competing with WWE, we would be watching WCW Nitro right now. It’s that serious. WWE has simply forgotten what made them the good. Raw is quickly becoming irrelevant. The storylines and characters are laughable (not entertaining laughable, the miserable kind)
And what has happened to the US title??? Are you telling me that a wrestler, wrestling in a title no less, would rather still the belt and get counted out, rather than win it in the ring??? Why not have Miz come down to interfere, attacking both guys and have it in a DQ. That would set up a three way match at the PPV.
Beth Phoenix beat Mickie in a 60 second match??? Why not have Beth Phoenix face Mickie for the strap??? I’m sorry, I just don’t buy Alicia Fox as a number one contender. And I don’t see her as Diva championship material. Gail Kim or Beth would’ve been a more logical choice for a title match, hell, Lillian would’ve been a better choice. Alicia, though cute, needs to go to OVW to refine her in ring skills and mic skills. I mean, Maryse is taking acting lessons. Maybe Alicia should be doing the same.
Evan Bourne is officially the Victoria of the WWE. He’s a great talent, and always make his opponent seem better than they really are. Why is WWE wasting this guy’s talent week in and week out??? If you don’t have anything for him, release him. Let him go somewhere where he can showcase his true potential.
The whole Cena and Orton thing has been done to death. And just don’t see the point of trying to build a match that we’ve seen thousand’s of times. You know what to expect from both guys. You don’t, at least I don’t, care who wins. What is their to build??
With Raw sucking, and TNA trying to find their way out of their “old WCW” ways, where can die-hard wrestling fans go for their wrestling fix?
Well, Smackdown is pretty good, right. Just so long as Vince stays far far away from this brand. And the Knockouts on TNA are also getting better with the inclusion of Lacey Von Erich. ROH is awesome for now. (as long as Vince keeps away from their top talent)
Come to thing of it, why don’t they just ship Evan over to Smackdown and let him have a program with Punk. That has the makings of an EPIC feud.
The dx-legacy fued is the best thing in raw rite now, only reason im watchin it. I hope they dont turn dibiase before they both are ready. Actually i wish they would turn rhodes but….