• Wrestling News & Wrestling Rumors – WWE & TNA

[This will be a weekly column series, but this first article draws from the past 2 weeks].

Sleeper Hold – may be old school, but it still works.
Plot Hole – something that doesn’t make sense in the universe of the story being told.

Pro wrestling is built on the audience’s ability to suspend their disbelief and get wrapped up in the in-ring action and sports dramatization, however over the years logic often gets thrown out the window due to poor comedy, over the top production, shock TV, or sheer creative laziness. The nuances that made wresting special in the past are often ignored because they think the audience doesn’t care anymore or that they won’t pick up on it. Well this weekly column series brings back the logic and realism in wrestling, sifting through the weekly shows to point out the plot holes that scream “this is phony and makes no sense”, and bringing to the forefront those old fashioned sleeper holds that make you say “that’s why I believe”.

- Donald Trump Buys Raw:
On the scale of illogical storylines, Donald Trump buying Raw is not the most preposterous idea. The WWEverse treats Raw, Smackdown and ECW as separate entities, operated by General Managers and we’ve seen crazier angles in the past. It’s fairly easy to say, yeah he bought it and not worry about the finer details, however if it begins to drift in your mind you’ll find it’s not the most thought out story arch.

If Vince is the Chairman of WWE, a public company, how can one man buy one department? Did he pay Vince to be the General Manager? How did the TV Network come in to play? And if Vince is harping on about going bankrupt off Trump’s decisions, how is it that Trump has access to McMahon’s bank account? If there are directors and shareholders to answer to, how can Trump make a commercial free Raw and give refunds, can’t they just block him from the top?

The purpose was obviously to create some controversy “shock TV” and to play off the Vince versus Trump feud on a very basic level, but wouldn’t it have made more sense if Trump was made General manager? Or he bought the majority stock from Vince? Also if things aren’t making complete sense shouldn’t the announcers be the voice of the people and ask the question “how is this possible, “how can Trump buy Raw?” Little things go a long way when keeping Kayfabe. After all how can we buy in to what announcers say, if they come across as less intelligent than the average Joe sitting at home going huh?

This Monday Vince bought back Raw. I am almost certain it is impossible to sell a global reaching publicly traded corporate brand and buy it back in just one week. That’s a lot of paperwork.

However ratings went up, it was quite exciting and we got a commercial free Raw, so we can give them a pass. A limo explosion or a brand selling is fine every once in a while, the problem comes if this sort of stunt is pulled on a regular basis.

- Samoa Joe Joins The MEM:
Samoa Joe’s shock turn at the Slammiversary PPV is a perfect example of how creative writer’s, like Vince Russo completely throw logic out of the window so they can create a shocking moment. Since the 90s wrestling has been plagued by these nonsensical swerves, that more often than not just make the audience groan. “Ohhh another one joins the NWO”, was a common thought at the time.

So Samoa Joe seemingly lost his mind and went on a crazy rebellious nation of violence spree because the Main Event Mafia were holding him down. So he completely annihilates wrestler after wrestler, including MEM members. A few months later he helps Kurt Angle to win the title and joins the Mafia.

So Joe was acting when he was going crazy on other wrestlers? Or was going crazy something he made himself do in order for the plan to work? When he was beating up the MEM were they just play fighting? Or would they go far enough as to let him physically hurt them to keep the plan on track? If the MEM didn’t know that Joe was planning on helping Angle, then why are they prepared to ignore all the things Joe has previously done to them?

A common idea is that Taz sent Joe to destroy the Mafia from the inside. So the Mafia are all dumbasses? If we can put the two together, why can’t they? Or is Taz coming in something they just concocted?

You don’t watch one season of The Sopranos, only to have the final episode see Tony out of nowhere join the FBI, so why should this happen in wrestling?

- In both of these plot holes logic was thrown out of the window to create a spike of interest in the moment. Every now and then this won’t harm the product, but if a company relies on this time after time, the fans can begin to lose trust. After all how can we believe in a product and suspend our disbelief when months of storyline is thrown out? What was the point in watching? In my opinion the best wrestling angles are built gradually with continuity. Vince versus Steve Austin is always something they can fall back on. What would have happened if 2 months after they started the storyline Austin turned heel and joined with Vince, or it was revealed that Vince and Steve planned the whole thing to make some cash? So the writers can go “ha ha you didn’t see that coming did you?” I say “ha ha, you didn’t see me changing the channel did you?”

- Maria Is a Referee:
Lately, out of nowhere WWE Diva Maria has been working as a referee. On its own this is fine, but in a “sport” that has rules and some kind of governing body shouldn’t she have gone to some kind of referee training school? Why not show a quick 20 second video of her working out with a senior ref, or a quick promo where she explains how she wants to ensure the women’s division remains stable and called down the middle, to add some realism? Was it ever explained why she officiated some matches? To any fan sitting at home, instead of adding something to the mix, it comes across as a lazy convoluted way of utilizing her before the brewing “we wish you all the best in your future endeavors” posting on WWE.com. They may as well just paint jobber on her forehead. It also pulls down the credibility of the real referees and the matches.

I’ll reiterate, it’s the little things that count on a wrestling show. This isn’t nitpicking.

- Champions Losing:
This now happens frequently in WWE. On ECW Jack Swagger defeated Tommy Dreamer to get a shot at Dreamer’s belt. How ass backward is that? I am of the firm belief that champions should not lose, even in non title situations. A champion is supposed to be the best. I’d go as far as not even having champions wrestle in single bouts until a PPV where they put the belt on the line. Boxers and MMA champions don’t have 5 matches a month on TV. A rolex is special because not everybody has one. A champion is special because not everybody can beat one, and they are not always on TV.

Ok, there are times when the storyline might be that they cheated to win, and therefore might lose under fair circumstances, but other than that the champion should be the man, and if somebody beats them, then they are the man. If a challenger needs to become a contender then he should beat somebody else of similar standing to get a shot. It’s sheer laziness.

- Hurricane:
I know it’s for the kids, and I know it can be entertaining but there’s something about a fake swooshy noise and a bewildered Mark Henry, who acts like he’s never seen the Hurricane before, which makes this a candidate for this week’s column. Masked wrestlers are on old school staple, but ones that can fly or appear suddenly do nothing but remind you you’re watching a show. What’s up with that?

- Rey Mysterio Jumping The Rail:
On Smackdown Rey Mysterio in disguise jumped the rail and cost Jericho his match with Jeff Hardy. If the logic card is played, security should have been all over him, but instead he sat back down and Grisham said “if it isn’t Mysterio lets sign him to the roster!” No wonder kids jump the rail if no big deal is made about it.

The announcers should have played this up like an amazing freak occurrence, they should have apologized to viewers and contemplated whether the General Manager should reverse the decision. They should have put over that if it was Mysterio, he must really hate Jericho for doing something so un-character like.

If small things are treated like big things, then wrestlers don’t have to do as much to get over and create that special excitement for fans. JR is the best at this type of thing, but even he has become indoctrinated over the years.

- Vince Stranded With Limo:
This kind of goes back to the Hurricane thing. One of my absolute pet peeves in WWE is their style of camera work. If Vince is stranded because his Limo has broken down, why the hell is there a cameraman present? All they have to do is say “…as you know folks, Vince always rides with a camerman to and from the arena in case he has something important to say.” Or something like “we obtained this fan recorded clip earlier today as Vince’s Limo broke down…” But instead we have the old all seeing camera guy.

TNA have this down perfectly. There is always a reason for a camera. JB will be interviewing, or they’ll be rushing to the scene of an incident. It doesn’t just conveniently capture important backstage incidents by just being there.

Save the nifty camera tricks for the films division.

- Countdown Clock:
I don’t know if anybody noticed, but during Raw a countdown clock popped up during a match, showing how many minutes until the Last Man Standing bout. We all know the show magically ends when it is supposed to, but there is no need to spell it out. Whatever happened to “with a 20 minute time limit…” Or, “if this match goes over, we’ll promise to stay with it”. If they are going to use a countdown clock, have it used for the time limit of the current match, not counting down until the next match. Why not have an announcer say, “well we were going to go to an interview, but this match has just been a battle and has taken up all our time.” There doesn’t really have to be an interview, just give the impression that match lengths are spontaneous.

- On the flip side there were some good old fashioned sleeper holds in the past two weeks. Firstly before his match with Cody Rhodes, Primo and brother Carlito cut a pre-match promo! Something that is rarely done these days. Next they need to start doing post match interviews at ringside. We just saw two guys fight, we want to hear their thoughts!

- Secondly John Morrison taking on Edge was a perfect example of how a match can get both the winner and the loser over with just a little extra time. These two had the TV match of the year, and Morrison, despite losing, is now a bigger star than before the bout. Just like Ric Flair during his time as NWA Champ, Edge brought Morrison up to his level. There was nothing illogical about this, just two athletes telling an old fashioned story in the ring, not on the mic.

- Seen any plot holes that made you second guess what you’re watching? Or did something old school take your interest? Leave a comment below.