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Carlito pins Morrison after a spine buster.

Evan Bourne and Tommy Dreamer defeat Tyson Kidd and Jack Swagger when Bourne pins Kidd after a Shooting Star Press.

Matt Stryker and Todd Grisham prepare to review every storyline leading into Wrestlemania from the Sprint Center in Kansas City Missouri.

And as we hear the ‘Experience,’ John Morrison comes down to the ring with his routine, and a recap of the Apple Incident from Smackdown.

Carlito is in next, with Primo and Bree. The twins are in fact dressed differently today, a first that I know of.

Morrison turns it on early and powers his way around Carlito. Then, Carlito steals the moment and gives John a few swings around the ring. They tie up in the corner, and Morrison sets up for what Matt assures us is a premature superplex, and indeed, Carlito blocks it, but Morrison delivers a spinning kick and both wind up on the mat, John in, Carlito on the apron.

We cut for the break.

Promo: Edge/Big Show/Cena

In-ring, Morison has Carlito in a headlock, which Carlito powers out of. Carlito smacks Morrison around a bit, ending up with a reverse springboard elbow for a two count. Morrison rushes Carlos in the corner, and gets an elbow for his effort. Morrison comes back with a Side Russian Leg Sweep, and a two count.

Carlito pulls out a swinging neck breaker, two, Morrison goes for the Moonlight Drive, Carlito counters, and delivers a spinebuster. Les Miz is jawing outside the ring, and Carlos gives him a few choice words, as Morrison roles out the other side, and he and his head for the safety of the backstage. Until…….

Teddy Long stops ‘em cold at the stage. He holds up the match, and says that it’s not going to end like this. Homey Don’t Play that Way. The Wrestlemania match will, then, in fact, be a Lumberjack match!. And here come the lumberjacks. In order of my recognizing them, The Great Kali, R-Truth, Jamie Noble, Goldust (Yeah!), Vladimir Koslov, Mike Knox, The Brian Kendrick, Cryme Time, Jimmy Wang Yang, William Regal, Zack Rider, Kurt Hawkins, and several I just couldn’t get faces on.

While Matt gives us a history of the Lumberjack match (if the original fight was among the kitchen staff, they might as well have called it a saucier match, I figure,) the in-ring battle goes back and forth, with Carlito getting a few more of the spots. Morrison gets tossed to the floor, and The lumberjacks, primarily Vlad, gets him back in. Carlito hits the backstabber, and gets the pin.

Promo: Howard Finkel’s induction into the hall of fame. They show many segments of his total lack of self-respect, including far too many shots of his red briefs.

Promo: HHH/Randy Orton, with recap of Raw’s match with Hunter in Handcuffs, Steph knocked silly on the ring floor, and Randy menacing with a sledgehammer. Like the Flair mutilation, this bit went on too long.

Quick Promo: The Chris Jericho overkill

Quick Promo: Taker/Michaels

Quick Promo: Jeff vs Matt – Extreme Rulz

Quick Promo: Show/Cena/Edge

Quick Vid, Cena on Leno

Promo: Hall of Fame/Austin.

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Jack Swagger does his George of the Jungle entrance, and is joined by Tyson Kid, and Natalya in an all-pink outfit that makes me send up a prayer that she’s in the diva battle royale.

To challenge the pair, Tommy Dreamer (Back on track, we’re told, after a funk,) hits the ring to the usual pop, and then Evan Bourne rounds out the quartet with a REALLY big pop.

Bourne up against Kidd. Bourne locks it up in some Greco-Roman moves, but the jumping and kicking starts pretty quickly. They end up facing off on the floor, Natalya setting Bourne up for a sucker punch. Back in the ring, Dreamer in, and quickly sets Kidd up for the Tree of Woah! (Joey Lawrence style, that is) Swagger distracts him, but gets elbowed to the apron. Dreamer does a quick dive to all fours, and Bourne comes in, leaps off of Tommy to deliver a kick to the inverted belly of Kidd still hung in the corner, while Dreamer does a baseball slide into Swagger to send him to the floor.

We go to commercial with Bourne and dreamer doing a team-scream in the ring.

Back without Promo (Praise the deities) and Swagger has Dreamer raked along the ropes, but the two have a back and forth for a bit. As Dreamer runs the ropes, he’s hung up by Tyson Kidd, and left open for a big kick by Swagger. Kidd drops an elbow, an elbow, a leg, and then a cover for 2. Kidd rotates in, and snags Dreamer right into a rear chin lock. Dreamer powers out, but Kidd does a good bit of stomping, for a two count. Swagger in, the two big guys throw each other around, Swagger slams Dreamer for a two and puts him in a headlock again. Tommy plays the I need a tag like nothing on this earth routine, and drops Swagger, double tag, and Bourne roughs Kidd up making minimal contact with the mat, gets a shot in on Swagger, and eventually sets Kidd up for the Shooting Star Press, a three count, and we’re done.

I like the Dreamer-Bourne combo, I think they’ve got a similar type of approach and attitude, with Bourne the sleek high flyer and Dreamer the brawler. But, that would be suggesting a tag team, and we know what kind of crap they take.

PROMO: ‘Taker/Micheals.

Now, the MVP VIP Lounge. They’re running really low on how to get all the Money in the Bank Match participants in the same ring. And, thinking back, wouldn’t it be cool to have a lady among them? Natalya could participate, and if she won, there are the two women’s belts, the intercontinental, maybe others she could grab. Does money in the bank give you rights to tag team gold?

Anyway, on to the Lounge. MVP starts off, and gives everyone his intro rap, and explains the match, and how it makes him a virtual lock on the championship. CM Punk confirms he’d just done it himself. He asks Christian about doing a Peep show, but Christian sees this turning into a huge brawl, and he didn’t want to risk his furniture. He goes on to tell us he’ll win.

Shelton takes a little umbrage at that, and claims that the Gold Standard will win, if anyone does. And, this is a lounge? No Cheese and Crackers, no wine glasses?

Benjamin continues to go off on the furniture and the beverages, and tells Christian that he’s got nothing to fear from MVP, who then assures us he will win.

CM Punk breaks in, and no matter how much he loves this banter, he’s the only one with experience winning the match, and cashing it in to become the champ. Kofi cuts in on his friend, and dismisses Punk as a factor in the match, and since the brief case is only about 30 feet in the air, he could just jump from the second rung and grab it.

The Worlds Least Likely Man to Be Supported by an Aluminum Ladder tells Kofi to shut is mouth, as he lacks any Wrestlemania experience. He’ll get the case, and with his grip, none of them could wrestle it out of his hands. (Sanity check, if he’s got the case already, it really doesn’t matter…) Of course, Finlay believes that he could, what with the introduction of his Shelaighlie to Henry’s head.

MVP stops the fun, and says save the fighting for Wrestlemania. He hands it over to the one person we haven’t heard from: Kane. He stands there, inscrutable, and gets a bemused look on his face – as a bear being surrounded by unruly penguins. He lifts the arms, and Blam! The joint turns red, the turnbuckles flame, and the rest of the participants slink away, leaving Kane bathed in red light staring up at the case.

Well, I don’t remember the Kane entrance effect happening for a while, and I love seeing it again. If you were going to roll yourself a character, Kane would have high numbers in strength, agility, experience, sheer size and power, and of course, cool entrance. He retained the tag belts, alone, in a ladder match against two other teams when the Hurricane got laid out before the match. I hated the completely asinine way they ended his match with Michaels the other night.

I’ll give up my predictions for Mania next week, since I expect this hour to be so completely lame with more and more updates, and maybe a match. Perhaps Mike Knox vs Kung-Funaki or something.

In fact, so little happened this week that I never even got in one of my previous era obscure references. This whole ramp up is inspiring me about as much as one of Lanny Poffo’s poems.

pj…