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Thanks to Todd Martin for these Raw Results for March 16, 2009:

The Big News: We’ve only got two more Raws until WrestleMania, and the card is seemingly pretty much set.

Show Analysis:

Shawn Michaels and Undertaker beat Vladimir Kozlov and JBL. The heels worked over Michaels, who made the tag to Undertaker. Undertaker went to town on JBL with punches, clotheslines, old school, snake eyes, a big boot and a leg drop. He set up for the choke slam, but Michaels tagged himself in and hit sweet chin music for the pin. An angry Undertaker chased Michaels up the ramp. Michaels seemingly left, but when Undertaker turned around he was hit with sweet chin music. This was a good start to the show.

Backstage, Vickie Guerrero met with Edge. Edge forgave Vickie, much to her surprise. Vickie claimed that Show forced himself on her because he’s so big. Edge said that Show used her, and that what Edge and Vickie have is real. They hugged, and Edge appeared to subtly smirk. Elsewhere, Randy Orton said he decided not to press charges against HHH, despite specifically demanding that clause two weeks ago. He’s angry at HHH for last week so he’s going to deal with HHH himself.

Mickie James, Melina and Kelly Kelly beat Layla, Jillian Hall and Beth Phoenix. Kelly blew a kiss to the sky on her way out, which was the primary acknowledgement of Test’s death on the show. The heels got the heat on Mickie, who eventually tagged Melina. Melina hit a Thesz press off the ropes on Beth, but Beth retaliated with a back breaker. A brawl broke out, and in the middle of the brawl Mickie kicked Santino low. Beth went after Mickie, but that gave Melina the opportunity to roll up Beth for the pin.

HHH beat Cody Rhodes in a cage match. HHH used a sledgehammer to keep Ted DiBiase and Randy Orton at bay while the cage lowered. Orton and DiBiase attempted to climb the cage, but HHH threw Rhodes into each of them to knock them off. He then hit Rhodes in the head with the sledgehammer and pinned him.

Rey Mysterio beat Dolph Ziggler. Dolph got in a little offense with a clothesline and punches. Rey took over and won by sending Dolph into the post, hitting a springboard senton, and following that with the 619 and a top rope splash. Rey has apparently issued an Intercontinental title match challenge to JBL for WrestleMania.

Chris Jericho came out for a potential match with Ric Flair. He said that he knows Flair has been waiting to come out retirement, and that Flair is a coward and has been. Flair then made his entrance and said he is retired. Flair said he won’t tarnish his sendoff and that he can’t wrestle, but that he found some men who can.

Jimmy Snuka, Ricky Steamboat and Roddy Piper came out and they surrounded the ring. Jericho tried to escape but was caught by a Flair punch. Jericho challenged Snuka, Piper and Steamboat to a handicap match at Mania, with Flair and Mickey Rourke watching. I’m glad they’re not having Flair wrestle, but what a colossal disappointment that match is.

CM Punk, Kofi Kingston and MVP beat Shelton Benjamin, Mark Henry and Kane. Christian and Finlay did commentary for the match, while the thoroughly irritating Hornswoggle made all sorts of annoying noises. I was just begging someone to set Hornswoggle on fire or push him off a bridge by the end of this.

The heels isolated Kofi Kingston. Kane gave him a side slam and Benjamin applied the abdominal stretch. Kingston got the tag to Punk, who gave Benjamin a springboard clothesline, swinging neck breaker and high knee. MVP and Benjamin horribly botched a spot, and Punk hit the GTS on Benjamin for the pin. Money in the Bank is supposed to be about workrate, and this match certainly didn’t get me psyched up about the potential for a classic bout.

Backstage, Big Show told Vickie not to believe Edge. Vickie said Show is using her. Show said Vickie pursued him and that they both know he’s anatomically superior to Edge. Hey now! Show said that Edge doesn’t love Vickie, but that he does. It is odd for one of the top Mania matches to be built around a love triangle involving Edge, Vickie Guerrero and Big Show. HHH left the building with Stephanie McMahon, who was apparently behind the lowering of the cage. At this point, I think they should do the double turn with HHH and Orton sooner rather than later.

Edge and John Cena battled to a no contest in a non-title match. Vickie Guerrero was the special referee, with the stipulation that if Cena touched her, he would be out of the Mania title match. Cena hit a fisherman buster but Vickie wouldn’t count. Cena hit the Cena slam and went for the five knuckle shuffle, but Vickie fell on top of Edge. When she finally moved Cena gave Edge the five knuckle anyway.

Cena went for the FU, but Vickie pulled Edge off. Cena then applied the STFU but Vickie grabbed Cena and tried to pull him off. At that point Big Show came out. Show and Edge attacked Cena together. They tied Cena into the ropes, Vickie slapped him, and Show hit him with hard punches. Then Edge abruptly speared Show, and that was it.

Final Thoughts:

This show was fine, but it felt just like the normal build for any pay-per-view. That’s the problem when you don’t set up any matches in advance and don’t shell out for an outside gimmick performer. Hopefully WWE learns its lesson and next year it begins setting up WrestleMania matches well in advance like usual. Or hell, I won’t complain if they get back to that long before then.

Long term planning in such a no-brainer in pro wrestling. It’s easier on the writers, because they don’t have to begin constructing everything anew every few weeks. It’s more interesting for the fans, who can follow more complex storylines that unfold over a longer period of time. And it makes more money, because fans are waiting to see certain matches long before they are paid off.

The bottom line is that wrestling pay-per-views should exist because they are a needed platform for the matches that will settle issues. Instead, it usually feels like the matches exist because they are needed to fill a pay-per-view. WrestleMania is usually the exception, but this year even WrestleMania feels thrown together at the last minute. Probably because it was.

One final point. If WWE knew that it didn’t have a particularly marketable card for this year’s WrestleMania, they really should have made more of an effort to try to elevate some new wrestlers. WWE has had trouble creating new stars, and yet on the biggest platform of the year, not a single wrestler is slotted higher on the card than they have been before. The same main eventers are wrestling the same main eventers.

WrestleMania this year is going to draw almost exclusively on the name, with a little help from Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels and maybe Randy Orton vs. HHH. So why regurgitate the same names in the other feuds? Jack Swagger vs. John Cena, CM Punk vs. Edge, Evan Bourne vs. Chris Jericho and Low Ki vs. Rey Mysterio wouldn’t have done any fewer buys than what they have and at least then you would have set up a bunch of younger stars for future success. WWE is like that sports franchise with a roster that can’t win the championship, but that still refuses to give playing time to the stars of the future.